Married Men Be Wise

*THIS* *IS* *FOR* *MEN* *ONLY* .
 *WOMEN* *SHOULD* *NOT* *READ* *THIS*
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By Bola Adewara
Follow me @bolaadewara
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In these few years I have spent on this *terrestrial* divide, I have seen *how* life *treats* men, especially in their *old* *ages* .

I have seen *men* *work* , *labour* , *sweat* throughout their *youthful* lives on their *wives* and *children* and I have also *seen* how they *end* *up* . My *brother* , as you are working *hard* to *train* your *children* and to make your *wife* proud, don't *forget* to have *something* for *yourself* for your old age. May you not be *begging* your *children* to *eat* in your *old* age.

Remember, *women* can be *jumping* from one *son's* house to another *daughter's* house. Not so for *men* .

Can I *tell* you a *truth* ? You are a *stranger* in that *family* you call *yours* today. That house you *struggled* to *build* is not *yours* . Its for your *wife* and the *children* ! Seriously!

A *friend* sent me a *story* recently. Let me *quote* him here: "My *grandfather* told me that a *married* *man* is like a *tractor* that *builds* a *road* , does it very *nicely* but when the *road* is *completed* , they bring a *pay* *loader* and carry the *tractor* away, *claiming* it will *spoil* the *road* ! That *tractor* is never *allowed* to *step* on the *road* it *built* !

" *Same* is the *case* of we *married* *men* . We *deny* ourselves, get *loans* , *wear* used *clothes* , etc, to *see* our *children* through high *schools* , *universities* , etc because we *believe* that the only *gift* we can *give* them is *quality* *education* . When they are *old* *enough* , the *fathers* often become *dispensable* . The *attention* of the *children* *shift* to their *mothers* . *May* *be* these mothers *poison* their *minds* *against* their *fathers* , who *knows* ? You *hear* a *typical* *mother* use *languages* like ...
"If it *wasn't* for me, you *wouldn't* have *gone* to *school* .
"I *sold* all my *gold* , *trinkets* , *wrappers* to *send* you to *school* .
"Your *father* was only *interested* in *alcohol* and *women* while I *suffered* to pay your *fees* !"
(Now the *tractor* that *built* the *road* is being *carried* away!)

" *Once* the *child* starts *working* , *father* could have *retired* . When *he* come *visiting* his *parents* , the poor *father* is *given* *N5k* in front of the *mother* , while the *mother* *pulls* him to the *kitchen* to collect *50* *times* what father *got* ... and the *father* doesn't *know* what mother *got* !

" *Once* the child *drives* off, the father is *told* to bring *money* from his *pittance* to *buy* *this* and *that* , buy *sugar* to prepare *Lipton* unless he wants to *drink* *sugarless* *tea* ! These are some of the *reasons* men *die* early!

"A mother *flies* *abroad* to *visit* her *children* or go do *Omugor* while the father *sits* at *home* , *buying* and *eating* bread and *ewa* *agonyin* every *morning* ! *Six* months, the *mother* is *abroad* doing *Omugor* . She *comes* back home *fresh* to meet father *licking* palm *oil* in *ewa* *agonyin* !"

I *warn* you, my *brother* . Nature *does* not *smile* on *old* men *who* did not *cater* for their *old* ages when they were *young* .

 *Build* your own *house* where you will *live* in your *old* *age* .

 *Build* businesses that will *feed* you in *your* *old* *age* .
 *Create* *conveniences* that will *engage* you in your *old* *age* .
 *Build* *friendship* and *goodwill* that will *serve* you in your *old* *age* .
 *Right* *now* , *start* to be *relevant* in your *mosque* or *Church* and *community* so you could be *reckoned* with in your old age.

* *Old* age could be very *lonely* and *agonising* for *men* who did not *plan* for it.
* *May* you not *become* a *liability* on your *children* in your *old* *age* .
* *May* your *children* not *wish* you an *early* *death* when they *can't* *manage* you again in your *old* *age* .
An *old* *age* without *penny* in your *pocket* is a slow, *agonising* *death* *sentence* !

Be *warned* now...!
There are *three* categories of *people* you cannot do *without* as we are *growing* *older* , your *family* , *people* in your place of *worship* and *childhood* *friends* , who include your *Old* *School* *mates* .

 *Friends* , *take* it or leave it, at *60* and *above* , *loneliness* kills because the  *children* you are *working* *hard* for now will *go* their *ways* to *raise* their *own* immediate *families* and *pursue* their own *destinies* , *just* as *we* did *now* . At that time it's *these* *people* in these *3* - *categories* that *take* away *loneliness* and *keep* your *company* .

Pls, out of your *busy* *schedule* , *set* time out to *say* *HI* ! to your *real* - *old* - *age* - *cure* - *against* - *loneliness* . In the 3- *categories* , the only *one* that *knows* you *better* and can *relate* with you *down* to *heart* are your *childhood* *friends* .
So *why* are you *feeling* too *big* or *inferior* to come *along* ? It's not *possible* we'll all be at the *same* *level* . *Some* will be *very* *rich* , *moderate* and some *poor* - that is the *beauty* and *misery* of life. *Some* will be so *educated* , while *some* will *still* be *Secondary* *school* *certificate* *holders* .

 *If* you are *up* , *bring* others that are *willing* *up* , and *if* you are *down* , never *bring* those that are *up* *down* with your *mouth* or *attitude* .
 At close to *50* years and *above* , you have *10* to *15* years of *active* *working* life.

 *Stop* saying *I* *am* this, I *am* *that* . *Flow* into other *people's* *lives* and *let* then *flow* into *yours* .

 *Respect* *friendship* and *value* *relationship* .

Let us *pass* this to  all *friends* on our *contacts* , *Rich* or *Poor* .

 *You* *can't* *exhibit* *pride* . *Live* *simple* .